I was part of two worlds in that moment. I was that lost and desperately sad me from 10 years ago, but at the same time was my 43 year old self living a life. A real and meaningful life, where the coat of armour has been replaced with a useless rain mac, but one which allows the real world to seep into my soul.
As some of you may know, a few days ago I blogged about being raped. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever written about. The following day I was so raw. So down. So numb. The most overwhelming emotion though, was guilt.
They’ve felt pain and heartache as they’ve witnessed the blackest of times in my life, and they’ve seen the equally alarming euphoria where at times they’ve found it hard to recognise me.