I’ve come to realise that by and large, people want to understand more about mental illness. People are now more aware than ever that this is a very real issue for very many people.
I turned to drink and drugs. I lurched from one unhealthy relationship to the next, some of which were dangerously unhealthy. I came very close to ending my life.
I was part of two worlds in that moment. I was that lost and desperately sad me from 10 years ago, but at the same time was my 43 year old self living a life. A real and meaningful life, where the coat of armour has been replaced with a useless rain mac, but one which allows the real world to seep into my soul.
Each and every one of us have built a strength and a determination to fight our battles tooth and nail. We’ve had to. And we should all feel proud.
My self esteem was on the floor from constant rejection. I was tired of faking a smile. Tired of hiding my illness. Overwhelmed by everything.
The agitation and anxiety was exhausting. Even although my body and mind were crying out for rest, I simply couldn’t settle. The simple act of me being still was about as likely to happen as a baby lying still in the midst of the most excruciating bout of colic.
I got tired of feeling physically unwell every day due to my excesses. I got tired of chasing happiness, when quite clearly I was like a thoroughbred galloping full pelt down the wrong racetrack, so was never in any danger of sprinting over the happiness finishing line.
GUEST BLOGGER – Alicia has shared in the most honest and genuine way, just what living with bipolar means to her. It demonstrates how different yet similar everyone’s experiences of the same illness can be. Thank you Alicia for being so brave in sharing your story. Continue reading “Guest blog – On the right path”
GUEST BLOGGER – Raw, real and heartfelt. This week’s guest blogger is all that and more, and I was once again reminded that everyone has their own story to tell, even when living with the same illness…
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GUEST BLOG – One of the wonderful things I’ve discovered since starting my blog is that you become part of a community. My guest blogger this week is Allie, is a 23 year old Dental Assistant who lives in Illinois. At the age of just 17, Allie was diagnosed with bipolar 2. Here follows Allie’s courageous and candid account of her journey so far… Continue reading “Guest Blog – Internal turmoil”