Bipolar – today is a good day

Then came some actual real life interaction with the mummies at the school gate. As in, proper interaction. Relaxed, controlled, and dare I even say it, enjoyable chat. I think I even made eye contact at one point. Today was a good day.

I still feel well! Hoorah for that! And thank you sadness, for having the grace to stay away from me when you know you’re not welcome.

happy days quoteToday was a good day! Yup. Definitely a good day. I was, and am, well.

Joy, energy, love, light and laughter. Oh and optimism. Always a good day when that crops up.

Boom. There it is. Not a bad lineup of emotions, don’t you think? Better than yesterday, that’s for sure.

So why the positivity today then? Not sure to be honest. Mind over matter perhaps? No. No it wasn’t that. Fed up being fed up? Yeah, maybe.

Do I need to analyse it though? Does it help? Does it even matter? Probably not I guess. It was a fabulous day and frankly that’s what counts. No visit from the gremlin and no hypomania. Days like this are so precious in a life blighted by bipolar.

This day deserves an applause! An encore!

There ought to be a place in the credits for my neighbours too. And I guess the slightly overly talkative mummy at MK’s swimming lesson ought to be crowbarred into the credits too. They all did their bit to create this happy snapshot in my life.


So up with the lark, long before Handsome Doc and young MK, who unusually, didn’t wake us up by slithering into our bed, all sqidgy and cosy with his sleepy little morning eyes, asking (hopefully) if “it’s morning time yet.”

A duvet day it was not. A dynamic day it was.

Shower, and wait for it… hairwash. Yep, and I know I’m taking this too far now, but my fuzzy legs even got the razor treatment. And everything else that I like to keep smooth too. ‘Nuff said on that though I think.

Then came the body cream. Now that did take slightly longer than it should have to be fair, when I realized I’d shaved my right leg twice and overlooked the left so had to do a quick dry shave to match up said legs, but the end result was good. So far so very good in my ‘good day’.

Today wasn’t a joggers and hoody kind of a day. Today was more about my vintage blue jeans, black heeled ankle length sock boots, a black long sleeved t-shirt and my black belt with big chunky silver buckle. I can’t remember where I got that belt actually. It’s ancient, but it’s my all time favourite belt.

I love the jeans too actually. I just got them and they’re skinny on the thigh with a gradual bootcut flare. Definitely a bit vintage, but the best thing about them is that when your heels are hidden under the bootcut it looks as though you’ve had leg extensions!

Most importantly however, is the lingerie. I don’t know about you, but whatever you wear, when you’re wearing nice lingerie, you just feel better. Don’t you think? Good boxers for the guys maybe has the same effect, but I’m no authority on that.

I had a boob job last year. It was nothing too Dolly Parton, just an uplift and a medium-ish sized implant. I’m so happy with the results, but of course it meant none of my old lingerie fitted. All was not lost though as Handsome Doc took me shopping to stock up my lingerie drawer! How good is that? Thank you Handsome Doc, you’re gorgeous.

Oh my goodness it was such a fabulous day. I think he got more into it than me. And that’s saying something as I was more excited than MK was when I gave him a chocolate digestive BEFORE dinner last week!

Making an effort with my appearance is always a sign that I’m in a good place, mentally.

Breakfast for MK when he surfaced, coffee for Handsome Doc, make up, some hair straightening action, a pretty bloomin’ well thought out outfit although I say it myself, then out the door for the school run on time. I repeat, on time.

straight hair

Smooth legs and smooth hair, how can today get any better?

And thanks to my fellow Surrey Mummy, you’re in the credits too. Thanks for being the friendly face every day at the school gates. Thanks for making that at times draining and relentless twice daily experience fun.

Home to meet the builder and greet him with a big hug for bringing over and fitting our new radiator cover. And yes, these things delight me too. It’s a thing of great beauty.

In step the neighbours. I’ve never had nice neighbours before. Ok that’s maybe a bit unfair, what I mean is, I’ve never been good friends with my neighbours. All change now though. The mummies of The Crescent are tight. We’re way beyond the whole borrowing a cup of sugar thing. Today’s chat was centred around laser hair removal, whether we favour Brazilian or Hollywood, where else we remove hair from on the face and body, and me pee-ing in a cup in the car. (I’ll leave that one there if it’s all the same to you. It happened though, and that’s as far as we need to go with that).

Post coffee came a visit to my newly found dressmaker. This woman is nothing short of a miracle worker. Three ill-fitting dresses and one potentially fabulous silk leopard print choker blouse had been locked in a room with this magician and her sewing machine for a day or so, before emerging as ‘made to measure’ couture. Made to measure Talk and Cheese couture to be precise!

A quick trip to the supermarket followed that, but frankly that was pretty dull and self explanatory. Let’s assume we’re all familiar with how a trip to the supermarket goes and forego the detailed description of the frozen foods aisle and so on.

School pickup (thank you again fellow Surrey Mummy, your smile was there to brighten up my already sunny day), then MK’s swimming lesson with the very chatty mummy.

On this mummy actually. I’m wondering whether maybe she was fighting her own battle today? Maybe her yesterday reflected mine in some way? Maybe, just maybe, she needed to chat? Maybe our seemingly inconsequential chit chat was her saving grace for today? Thank you swimming mummy. Thank you for chatting (a lot) to me, and if you are fighting a battle (and I realise I may be barking up the wrong tree here), but if you are, keep going. You’re winning.

pipHome to feed a hungry MK, then ding dong, the Chihuahuah almost bust a gut trying to get to the door. MK tried to beat him to it, and whoever got there first (it was a photo finish) opened the door to reveal one of my neighbours and her two little dudes, ages with MK.

Neighbours! This is a whole new departure for me! Neighbours who pop in for an impromptu glass of wine!

She was dropping in with pressies for me and MK from her recent trip to South Africa.

Today is a good day. A very good day.

The arrival of Handsome Doc when he got back from work did what it always does – it made me silly happy. Thank you Handsome Doc. Just thank you.

7d752e8e-1ff2-4eba-8536-949eea5f1ad8And now? Well, I’m here. I’m tapping away on my laptop and I’m ok. I’m happy and grateful for today. Today gave me what I so badly craved during the low. Pure and uncomplicated freedom of spirit. Nothing too taxing, just me being at peace with myself and the world.

There was no reckless behaviour today. There was moderation. There was balance. There was purity.

At no point was I in danger of pulling an all nighter. A dark and lonely all nighter, created by my hypomanic side. A false high.

At no point did I pace the house (at top speed) inventing completely unnecessary tasks to keep me busy and create an imaginary perfection. There was perfect imperfection.

There were good decisions.

There was contentment, gratitude and a beautiful, unassuming inner peace.

Thank you today. Thank you for being you. Thank you bipolar for allowing me a good day.

Keep well x

Author: talkandcheese

I'm 44 and have just retired from having been a TV presenter for over 20 years to become a full time mummy and housewife. I live with my boyfriend and 5 year old son. Together we all live with my bipolar 2. I was only diagnosed 9 years ago and it had been an utterly chaotic ride prior to treatment and meds. Every day could be like chalk and cheese. Life is so much less frightening now, but I still get hypomanic episodes and depressive lows. The time feels right for me to share some of my story now, in which there were some devastating lows and some equally as frightening and exhausting highs. The process is helping me to heal, and I hope with all my heart may offer someone somewhere some level of comfort and support that they are not alone.

3 thoughts on “Bipolar – today is a good day”

  1. Oh Dy, the peeing in a cup was a story in itself! It was on a trip back from a minor op in hospital, and I honestly thought I was going to burst! I’m no lady, that’s for sure. xxx

  2. Here’s a super-fab “day in the life” post I raced through (but not in a manic way, thank God!) — I raced through it because it was simply a great read!!!

    I’m so happy you had that day, Ali….I’m so thankful that bipolar let you have it and you made the most of that day.

    Hmm – you might need to post about the peeing in the cup incident someday—I’ll bet you 5 pounds that a LOT of people would read that, LOL!

    I’m off to read the next post & then it’s dinner time and “telly” as you say across the pond. I’ll definitely tweet the 1st blog post a.s.a.p. so I can let folks know there’s a gem of a blog they must follow immediately!

    p.s. the picture of your Chihuahuah is precious!!!!

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